I was looking through my external harddrive on my lunch break today.. looking for a video of me and my sister actually, when I stumbled across this image. This reminder of how I used to spend so much of my time.. and my heart actually started aching for it. For time and space to dip my brush in ink and make something. anything.
This picture is from 2009. From AUGUST of TWO THOUSAND AND NINE. And I feel like I can probably count on two hands how many times I've pulled out my inks since then. It's hitting me today how sad that really makes me.
A few weeks ago, I read something about creativity in children. How bountiful it is when it's given space to grow, and how boredom encourages and demands it. The article spoke about the overwhelming amount of information that is at our fingertips today and how, maybe, it might be hurting us more than helping us. The other side of that coin is that we are now exposed to so much more information, that we have more inspiration and more resources to pull from. I guess, the question then, is do we? When we have everything, where is the need?
The point is that it got me thinking about my day-to-day, "sit in front of a computer screen and watch everyone else be creative" job and it makes me wonder if I'm losing some of that creativity. I wonder if I'm losing the ability to make something out of nothing. The past few years have been full of transition and growth and readjusting and I don't mean to downplay them or even wish for something different. I just miss creating.
Funny, that is my word this year: C R E A T E. But it's already March! We're a fourth of the way through 2012, and what do I have to show for it? I know that life is busy, and planning a wedding takes a lot more time than you'd think (more than I thought, anyway).. but I'm itching to get to a place where I can sit down and make something. I'm craving it.
I don't want to lose it.
What video were you looking for? I can't imagine it is a good idea for you to be digging up any videos of us....
ReplyDeleteHaha... Jamie, take a wild guess. You mention "The Preacher's Wife Soundtrack" and all I can think about is hiking and singing that song on the side of a mountain somewhere. You'll be pleased to know that I can't find it. In fact, I think it's lost forever.
ReplyDeleteThis is great. This is the downfall of sites like Pinterest and Tumblr: we spend way more time looking at awesome things people have made instead of making awesome things.
ReplyDeleteAnd in regards to your year of creativity... I know I sometimes have the problem where if I delay starting things I justify not doing them by saying "I already wasted so much time!" But truly, the only thing you'll regret is not starting to make creating a part of your life. Even if you start now, late, you're still going to feel awesome in the end.
I know those owls! I love and MISS those owls!! Selfishly I want you to start creating again because I want to see more of your amazing creations. Aaaaand I want to buy some from you :) But srrriously girl. I hope you find time soon to let your heart and soul create beautiful things again.
ReplyDeleteYou're not losing it. It's just the season of life you're in. You should make more time for it, certainly. But there will come a point that you will miss these years as well. Live in the moment. Create. But don't hold guilt for missed time.
ReplyDeleteYou are gifted. For sure.